Vacation

Free at last; Thank God almighty I am free at last!

I am now officially on vacation for the next two, count them one...two, weeks. Can you tell I am a bit excited about that fact? No need to answer.

I will be adding a new state to my list of states I've visited. Washington will be added when I head to Seattle on Tuesday. I hope to see the sites, spend time with friends, eat too much, stay up too late and laugh until I cry. Sounds like a great time to me.

I'll end my trip in Phoenix visiting my dad and relaxing by the pool. I will get some much needed rest there along with some much needed time with a dear friend. Since my dad is 'sick' I want to spend some time with him. Bring on the sun. I'm sure I'll also eat too much there too. Is there any other way to spend vacation?

I hope to come home full, not only on good food but also emotionally and spiritually from time with friends and family. It wouldn't hurt to come home tan too.

I Have a Pet Peeve

Okay, so I probably have many. This, however, is the only one I'll share. For now.

I don't know what it is with Philly but so many people smoke. Now you, smoker person, have as much 'right' to smoke as I have to breathe clear air. Seems you, however, are always at an advantage.

My pet peeve is not that people smoke. My pet peeve is people who smoke and walk at the same time. Ah, it's SO annoying. It's one thing to walk outside and a smoker is standing there. I can usually walk away and be fine. However, when you walk and smoke at the same time there is no escape. It doesn't matter if I walk in front of you or behind you (although behind is way worse), I can still smell that disgusting smoke.

All you smokers, would you kindly give us non-smokers a break and stand still when you contaminate your lungs. I'd like to keep my lungs as clean as possible. The urban air is enough of a hazard.

To Be Seen

"I gotta go make sure Owen's alright. But when I get back, I want to see you, Janet; really see you. Will you let me do that?"

Ah; what a line. It's from October Road. It's what the character Eddie says to Janet. He's got a few good lines right before it and she has a great answer after it. Yeah, I know it's tv and I know that someone (probably a woman) wrote the line above; but what a line.

I want that. To be seen. It's what I crave and what makes me scared out of my mind all at the same time. Funny how that happens.

I need your grace to remind me to find my own.

Perspective

I was traveling to work on Monday and was sort of creating a blog entry in my mind. I would write about having to clean snow off my car again, how thunder was clapping as the snow was falling in a weird spring meets winter way, sitting in wet pants on the train, the flooding and the damage that all the rain before the snow had brought, etc. I was witty in the blog in my mind; an award in the making.

Then I clicked on cnn.com while at work and suddenly the snow, rain, wet pants and whatever else I was going to convey just didn't seem to matter quite so much. Unthinkable tragedy. Stunned silence.

There have been students I have interacted with in one capacity or another (even if it was just via a story being told to me) who we have recommended to counseling. Depression is rampant in our culture and our young people like at no other time. I see it almost every day in the students on campus; I feel it in my own life at times. It's just unreal.

Hind site is always 20-20. People, the media especially, will 'woulda, coulda, shoulda' this to death in the days/weeks to come. Blame will be tossed around like pennies into a fountain. Many will carry guilt with them and some forever. Some will be haunted by images and sounds every time they close their eyes.

In spite of many of my feelings about and toward the VT Administration, the Police and the gunman himself, I can't help but think of his family. They lost a son, a brother that day. They, too, grieve and mourn a loss so profound. They carry a burden and a guilt that I can not begin to imagine. Then to see your son's final video broadcast on national news (I've got a lot to say about that - perhaps another time). The pictures and images will haunt them as well. I can't help but think that the young man so troubled and in my opinion possessed, who unleashed an eerily calculated fury on that day was once a little boy. He ran, giggled, and played. He dreamed of being someone and doing something. What happened? Where did things go so very wrong? I just can't help but think of his family and the loss they feel.

Some how this extended winter weather (how reliable can a groundhog be anyway) just doesn't seem so significant.

A work in progress

See Me Beautiful

I see me broken.
You see me beautiful.

I see me broken.
I see every mistake;
I feel every failure;
I know every weakness;
I sense every flaw.
Yet, you see me beautiful.

I see me broken.
I see my shortcomings;
I question my value;
I carry my fear;
I doubt my worth.
Yet, you see me beautiful.

I see me broken.
You see me beautiful.
May my eyes see me as You see me;
I see me broken.
May I see me beautiful.

A moment with robin

In all we got about 4-6 inches of sleet in this storm. Well, do you know what happens to sleet when it's cold? Yeah, it freezes. Fun times. I looked outside my window this morning when I woke up and saw the funniest thing. Some guy couldn't get his door open - it froze shut. So, he took one of those garden shovels, you know the kind that you see in all those movies that people use to smack someone upside the head? He was using that to try to pry his car door open. Too funny. Of course his scrapper was inside his car (as it is for us all) and he couldn't get that unless he got in the car.

I'm glad that I did clear my car off as much as I did yesterday when I got home from work because it made today a lot easier. I went out while the sun was still out. Luckily the sun did a lot of the work for me. I brought my shovel out and tried to dig around my tires. That wasn't happening. All of a sudden I hear the beeping (or squeeking) of someone trying to unlock their car doors with a remote. I look around and no one is there. "That's obnoxious" I said outloud to no one in particular as I thought it was just some person trying to scare me when I realized it was the car parked next to mine. Suddenly, the car starts. Mind you, NO ONE is IN the car at this point. That got another comment with me with a twist - "that's really obnoxious" came out of my mouth, once again to no one in particular. I've only seen those remote starter things on tv or in advertisements. I can vouch that they work.

I'm getting ready to head back inside (you can only try for so long to remove ice from next to your tires that doesn't want to move) and I look up to see a robin standing on the snow looking straight at me. I couldn't help but smile because I know the bird and I were thinking the same thing. Didn't we just have spring this week? Where did it go?

I walked back inside and looked out my window to see if the phantom car owner had actually come out or not and I saw the robin standing in front of my front driver's side tire just looking around. It was almost like it was asking, where did she go? (you know we had a moment earlier). Again I smiled as I was reminded that Spring is indeed around the corner. The snow will melt, the flowers will bloom and the birds will sing.

I am so excited for Spring.

March Madness

Beware the ides of March....

Yesterday here in Philly it was 70 degrees. Today here in Philly it's about 40+ degrees less than that AND there is a combination of ice, slush and snow falling from the skies. What a difference a day makes.

I left work early today; my whole office did. I am glad I got out when I did because the roads are horrible. It's so slick and so slippery out there. I decided I should clear off my whole car when I got home to my apartment (and not just my rear and front windows as I did before leaving the train station lot). I figured it's only going to get worse so lets get some off the car now. There is nothing like getting pelted in the face by blowing ice that is falling from the sky. Feels good. Talk about a smack in the face.

Then I came inside and did what my mom would have done for me as a kid after spending time outside in the cold and snow. I made a cup of hot chocolate. Yummo. I even had marshmallows in the freezer (makes them last longer) that I put in it. It's fun being a kid at any age.

The other type of March madness in my life now is basketball. Oh well, got off work early giving me more time to knit in front of the tv while watching basketball. Sounds good to me.