To Bow is to be Sued

Let me pose a scenario:

A group of high school athletes desires to pray before games. They take it upon themselves to gather those who desire to participate, bow their heads, close their eyes and pray together as a group. Their coach, being in the locker room with these athletes prior to the game, decides to silently join these students. He walks over near their prayer circle, bows his head and listens or perhaps prays with his students silently. The coach does not utter a word out loud. He simply bows his head in unity with his players. Sometimes, if his players had the posture, he would kneel on one knee along with them while they prayed.

Has that coach broken a law? Has he violated his students' constitutional right to separation of church and state? What do you think?

A federal appeals court in New Jersey seems to think he has. A lawsuit was brought against the coach by the East Brunswick Board of Education. And they won. The court ruled that the coach's decision to bow his head and get down on one knee endorsed religion, even though he never uttered a word out loud. He didn't push religion, he wasn't Bible thumping, and he wasn't leading the prayer or forcing students to be a part of it.

The court had the following to say about their ruling. "We find that based on the history of [the coach's] conduct with the team's players, his acts cross the line and constitute an unconstitutional endorsement of religion. Although [the coach] believes that he must continue to engage in these actions to demonstrate solidarity with his team ... we must consider whether a reasonable observer would perceive his actions as endorsing religion, not whether [the coach] intends to endorse religion."

Although the superintendent of the district was quick to point out that students themselves have the freedom to pray voluntarily whenever they like. Thanks for clearing that up.

Here is the part that really gets me. There was a three judge panel in this case. Two out of the three judges (which is the majority) had this to say, "If a football coach, who had never engaged in prayer with his team, were to bow his head and take a knee while his team engaged in a moment of reflection or prayer, we would likely reach a different conclusion because the same history and context of endorsing religion would not be present." Basically, do it once and that's okay; but bow that head twice and you'll be sued.

What about a moment of silence that often occurs at sporting events to honor an event or person(s)? What does a coach do if that happens more than once in a season? During those times some people bow their heads, some people pray, some stand silently. Since it's a moment of silence no one knows what each individual is thinking or why they've taken that posture. If his players happen to bow their heads and he does too, will he be sued?

Now I'm not a judge nor am I a lawyer. I certainly have my own interpretations of the Constitution which many would probably never hold up in court. I tried to view this lawsuit from the point of the players, the school board, the judges etc. I tried. But I still don't fully see the value in the suit. And mainly for one reason.

With all the negativity in this world; with all the stories of coaches berating and beating players; with all the stories of parents and coaches fist-fighting over games; with all the bullying, guns and other school violence that occurs. With all of that, the school board spends money for this kind of lawsuit? No student (that's been reported) has ever come forward and complained about the coach's abilities, practices or character over his 22+ career coaching this very team. Some parents complained about him bowing his head and joining his players when they kneel (which, by the way, is a huge football tradition whether or not the player is considered religious). They ought to be thankful that this coach has taught their kids about their sport, about character and about the freedom to be who they are (even if that means they want to pray together). We should all be so lucky that the worst thing our coach ever did was bow his head along with ours.

Wisdom in the Rings

This weekend I did something I've always wanted to do but never thought I'd actually take the time to do. I watched all three movies in the Lord of the Rings trilogy back to back to back. The extended versions. Approximately twelve hours of adventure, intrigue and fun. All in one very long but very fulfilling day.

Two friends ditched…I mean graciously excused themselves from their husbands… for a girls day of Rings. We settled in with snacks, food and drinks galore to watch on the big flat screen (we were obviously not at my apartment). Now I'm not a LOTR junkie. As a matter of fact, until Saturday (and early Sunday) I had only seen each movie once and I've never read the books. But there is something about these movies; something that stirs in your soul and awakens your heart.

Previously I had felt a connection with different characters in each movie for different reasons. Frodo, Legolas, Arwen, Eowyn, Gimli, Pippin, Galdalf, they all have spoken to me in some way. In some I've seen who I was, who I am and even who I hope to become. Others speak wisdom, beauty or humor that resonates with me. Of course there is Aragorn in all his denial and in all his kingly glory; as a woman he speaks to me and my heart. But this time, seeing the movies one right after the other and seeing how the story lines fit together and following them through to the end, this time I was touched by a different character. I think I have found my favorite character of all. Samwise Gamgee. Sam the Brave. Sam.

Sam delivers some of the greatest lines in the movies. He's the optimist, the loyal friend. The one who jumps in the water to catch Frodo even though he can't swim. The one who won't take no for an answer. At one point one of my friends commented that everyone needs a Sam. That friend who sticks closer than a brother. The one who will support you in all that you do even if it means saying what you don't want to hear or doing that which is beyond their natural abilities or finite understanding. I realized on Saturday that Sam is Jesus.

I believe that many characters represent a part of God's character. God is complex with many characteristics. It's fun to see them displayed on the big screen. But there was something about Sam that touched me on Saturday. He reminded me that I am not alone. Just when I think I can not move another inch, Jesus is there to lift me the rest of the way. When I try to do things on my own, God gently reminds me that he is near and I do not have to go alone. A friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I needed that reminder. But I also needed the reminders that came with the other characters as well as with the story itself. It was a good twelve hours of reminding.

Frodo: Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone.

Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you.

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

my journey, one tape at a time

This weekend while cleaning I found a box full of old cassette tapes. Yes, I still have some of those. I couldn't throw away some fabulous mixed tapes that either I made or were made for me. College mixes, high school summer mixes, 'cross country trip mix, etc. They are too priceless and precious to part with. How can you part with songs that itunes would laugh at you should you search for them?

In my box is a tape from way back in the day. We're talking 1st and 2nd grade back in the day. There is a classic collection of math games that my 2nd grade teacher recorded for me along with a personal note at the end. There is my 1st grade class singing a song at our Christmas assembly. There's a song from my 5th grade dance recital. There is a recording of me (with my friend Chrissy) in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade just reading random papers that I found. One of those papers was from Catholic mass. My young Jersey accent is reading about how Jesus died for us, struggling to pronounce some words. It's heartwarming. How can you throw that away?

It's sad that many people never experienced both the joy and agony of trying to hit the record button at just the right time while awaiting your favorite song on Casey Kasem's Top 40 (or 20 or 10) countdown. Yup, I have a tape that has some of those moments.

Then there is the tape from my senior year of college where many InterVarsity members piled into one apartment to record all of the songs that we loved singing for four years. We rotated guitar players (myself included) and all sang a joyful noise to God, to each other and in remembrance of four years of growth, friendship and love.

These tapes are a part of me. In a way they are kind of like those piles of rocks turned altars that people erected in the Bible in order to remember what God had done. Yes these tapes are my musical journey but they are my spiritual journey as well. They sustained me, made me laugh, made me cry, made me hope, made me sing along, made me dance....

Luckily I have a stereo with a tape deck (two actually) so that I can enjoy this walk down memory lane now and any time I need a reminder of what I was listening to at a particular time in my life. The remembrance continues, one tape at a time.

Evan Almighty

I watched Evan Almighty today and like Bruce Almighty before it, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it and how much I took from it.

It reminded me that God does often ask us to do absolutely crazy things yet there is a very good purpose behind it. It might make absolutely no sense to us at the time and we may be accused of and even feel like we are in need of professional help. But it all makes sense in the end.

It reminded me that God does in fact have a sense of humor. I love watching God (Morgan Freeman) laugh at man (Evan). In one scene Evan says to God that building an ark is not in his plans. God gets a good laugh out of man talking about his plans. I imagine God gets quite a good kick out of me when I do or say the same thing.

It reminded me that God does in fact show up in some crazy ways and some crazy places but always at the right time. If we are attuned to him, we’ll know that it is in fact him. Otherwise it just seems like utter randomness or a really sweet waiter.

It reminded me that there is an 11^th commandment – thou shalt do the dance. Okay, so maybe that isn’t something the movie reminded me of but the whole dance thing was pretty funny. God does invite us to do the dance.

If you haven’t seen the movie you should. It’s funny, it’s cute and it’s a good reminder that God really does want to be in relationship with us. You too just might take something from it.

dancing in the rain

Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I read this quote today. I have no idea who said it (if you know, please let me know) but I know that I love it. It’s pretty profound.

Those of you who know me know that storms and I do not mix. Oh I could tell many storm stories some of which scared the crap out of me at the time but sure do make for great entertainment now. When they come, especially those out of control, crazy thunderstorms, I pray for them to pass. Will them to pass. Beg for protection until they pass. I don’t particularly care for the storms of life either (not that anyone really loves them). My response to life’s storms is pretty much the same as those that are weather related. But life is not about waiting for them to pass.

Those of you who know me also know that being wet and having wet hair (aside from those moments where being wet is warranted, ie at the beach, in a pool etc) and I do not mix. I have this crazy, curly, frizzy head of hair. And that’s on sunny days where there is 0% humidity and absolutely no wind. Get that head of hair wet and watch out. It’s my very own chia-pet. When it’s raining, I use an umbrella, I don’t splash in puddles and I certainly don’t dance in the rain. But life is about dancing in the rain.

It is going to rain. It is going to storm. It is going to do both in weather and in life. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Go ahead and dance in the rain; both literally and figuratively. A certain freedom just might be found in the rain, in the healing water.

So if I get the choice to wait for the storm to pass or dance…..I hope I dance.

52 - pick me up?

This past weekend I went on our all church retreat to Long Beach Island in NJ. It was a great time to be refreshed and to get to meet/know many 'new' people at church. Truly a blessed time. Although there are many things I could share about/from the weekend, what I will share is how my heart was refreshed by cards.

I love to play games. It's the love of competition side of me. On Friday night a group of us played cards for hours. Friday night became early Saturday morning and the dealing continued. I learned a new card game called Palace which was a blast. Toward the end of the night (or early in the morning) I had the opportunity to teach a few friends my favorite card game - Euchre. I haven't played Euchre in a long time. As a matter of fact the last time I may have played was in Turkey back in 2004. That's a long time ago. Nearly a lifetime has passed since then. Oh but the rules and the love of the game quickly returned.

My team may not have walked away from the table victorious but I walked away a winner. My body may have been tired but my soul was stirred. As my head hit the pillow sometime after 2am, I couldn't help but smile for my heart was full.

I'm ready for a rematch anytime.

BE Beautiful

Not too long ago I was asked to stand up at church and share about my involvement with our small group (called house churches) and women’s ministries. Most eyes would be on me so naturally I wanted to make sure I looked good. I was thinking about what I should wear and hoping that my hair would cooperate. My curls tend to do what they want when they want.

I took a shower and washed and dried my hair. I was having a REALLY bad hair day. NO exaggeration whatsoever. So, I was semi-panicking about what I was going to look like at church. I was thinking that maybe I could wear a hat or perhaps by some miracle it would magically sit correctly or at worse I'd have to wear it in a ponytail - yuck. Some women can toss their hair in a ponytail and look adorable. My hair doesn’t toss into a ponytail, it needs to be corralled.

In the midst of my panic and search for a lasso, Jesus swooped in and smacked me back to reality a bit. He told me to stop trying to LOOK beautiful and actually try to BE beautiful. What? How the heck do you be that? The answer was simple - remember that I already AM beautiful therefore I can BE beautiful. It's an attitude not a set of clothing I put on or a hairstyle I have. So, yes, as a woman I am always going to think about what I'm wearing and what my hair looks like, etc. However, my value and beauty do not come from those things.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4