Happy Anniversary to me!

Three years ago this past weekend I arrived on the East Coast (or the 'right coast' as my mother commonly referred to it), completing my move from Arizona. It's hard to believe that three years have gone by already. Time certainly flies. I moved back, among other reasons, to be closer to my family. I've seen them a lot over the past three years. I've been able to attend graduations, anniversaries, confirmations, parties and dinners. Most of which I would have missed if I still lived in the land of cacti and warmth. For that, and so much more, I am grateful.

Happy 3^rd Anniversary to me!

Internet Blues

My internet at home has been out all week. So today I am catching up on the posts that I wrote. It's been quite the week.

I called the internet provider earlier in the week. I talked to two different people who ran my computer through all of these diagnostic type tests. I get that many people are computer clueless. The one guy asked me to turn the modem off and turn it back on again. Really? Now why didn't I think to do that earlier? Seriously. Tried that already. Then it was to unplug it from the wall and wait exactly 2 minutes before plugging it back in. The magical 2 minutes passed and nothing. So glad I moved the queen bed complete the headboard attached by myself for nothing. Many failed diagnostic tests and a long time on the phone later, they scheduled a technician to come by.

The internet technician guy came to my apartment this morning. I told him the internet had been out since last Saturday. A light bulb went off in his head. In short, last Saturday he came to our complex to connect someone to their services. While connecting them in the main box, he 'accidentally' disconnected me. Good times.

At the technician's suggestion, I called the main number and requested a credit for the missed week of service. Would you believe she gave me a hard time about that? She wasn't going to budge. So, I asked that she call the technician and have him verify that he, in fact, did inadvertently disconnect me from my service. I don't even know where the box is. I certainly could not have done it myself.

So I now wait to hear if I will get the full credit or not. If not, my phone conversation may be taped and used at their next training for what to do when people who grew up in Jersey call and want a refund.

The Rainbow Connection

This week we've had several days we've had the kind of weather where half the sky is sunshine half rain clouds. That's ripe sky for a rainbow. To know me is to know my craziness for the 'bow. It's been a long time since I've seen one. Seriously, can't remember the last time.

So, at least twice this week, when the sky seemed ripe, I asked Jesus for a rainbow. I seriously felt I needed one. No rainbow when I got out of my car after work. No rainbow when I got back from my run/walk. Both times I was sure I would see one. Since I didn't immediately, I went inside and looked out my window just knowing that when I moved the blinds I'd be blinded by a 'bow. Both times not so much. I admit I was disappointed. Twice.

Thursday night my Bible study/book club was meeting at my apartment. A small storm rolled its way in while we were starting our discussion. After the rain stopped, out of the corner of my eye I saw sun shinning on some really dark rain clouds. In the middle of my sharing I felt this overwhelming need to run to the sliding glass door to my tiny balcony. Still speaking (yet not acknowledging what I was doing), I jumped up, drew back the blinds and there, in all its glory, was a rainbow.

Apparently I must have said something because everyone was up and racing for the doors. We all squeezed onto my balcony and there, directly in front of us was a glorious site. Not only did Jesus answer my request for a rainbow he answered with brilliance. There was no tiny rainbow before us. There was a giant, sweeping across the entire sky, bright double rainbow. I didn't just get one. I got two. Yea, Jesus loves me that much.

Sometimes when we bring our desires to God he appears to be silent. Sometimes his answer to our request is no. Sometimes his answer is wait. The two times I asked for a 'bow and didn't get one I was disappointed. All I wanted was to see a little rainbow. I mean how hard could that be for him?

When I wasn't really looking, the answer I got was more than I had even asked for. I asked for a little 'bow and I got giant, double brilliance. God is like that. He is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine. And sometimes, he does just that.

Tales from the I.C.U.

A friend of mine was rushed to the hospital this week. She had a seizure at work and after multiple tests, including a CAT scan and a brain MRI, it seemed she had a blood vessel burst and there was bleeding on her brain. When I got to the hospital the day after the seizure we learned that there were two doctors that differed on treatment options. One said brain surgery and the other medication. I liked the medication guy even though I had no idea who he was or what his credentials were. He got my vote. Kick the other one off the island.

When I heard the phrase brain surgery the first thing that popped into my mind was Dr. McDreamy. I told another friend we could fly him out to perform the surgery. Perhaps that was an emotional and/or verbal tic of sorts. Fear and a sense of uncomfortableness can often be disguised with humor.

We went into the cafeteria with our friend's sister so she could grab something to eat. We couldn't help but look around for the table of interns and/or residents sitting around. Perhaps I've watched Grey's Anatomy a bit too much. No such interns or residents. TV doesn't always emulate life. And sometimes it's just bad timing (maybe they ate earlier).

Long 'I hate hospitals, especially the ICU' story later, the latest is she is home. She will not be having brain surgery anytime soon. The medication doctor won out. See, I told you I liked him. Wait. Maybe that doctor is a she. That might explain it.

Thank you Jesus!

Some time I'll have to share all of the "I saw God here" moments from that day/night. Oh he was certainly there. How else would you explain having enough money in coins to pay for the ridiculous charge of parking at the hospital? Like we wanted to be there. It's not like we were shopping for bed pans. That's just one of many stories.

We love you BG! Praise God for you my friend. I'm glad that for you, it's all gravy. Here's to many more years of this warrior princess life we live. I look forward to journeying it with you.

I went for another walk/run combination last night. I think this might be a record. I admit that I liked the 30 "extra" seconds of walking that I missed out on the other day. Why is it that the runs always seemed to be on the uphill? I couldn't time it differently even if I tried. I'm lucky that I can determine 60 and 90 seconds (thanks ipod) let alone timing a run to walk uphill and run down. It might be strange to say but I felt accomplished, invigorated when I got home. That's motivation right there. Plus my legs don't ache nearly as much today as they have over the past two days. It's the little things, people; little victories. I'll take whatever ones I can get.

Running is real and relatively simple…but it ain't easy.
--Mark Will-Weber

Narnia and Me

I'm reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge with some friends of mine. Last week we read the chapter titled Warrior Princess about how as women we do want to play an irreplaceable role. Although part of us does want the knight to ride in on a white horse to rescue us the other part wants to fight in the battle. We need to fight in the battle.

This weekend I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. This is a great movie. A must see. Seriously, put it on your to-do list and into your budget. This movie is that chapter in Captivating come to life and then some. There is some great dialogue. There is humor. There is fun. And there is battle. There are so many beautiful on-screen images of the battle we face on a daily basis. And I loved all 2 hours and 20 minutes of it.

I love that CS Lewis got that warrior princess aspect of women. He got that there are both sides to us. He got that there is more to us than staying behind. He got that need to be a part of something bigger and the irreplaceable role that each of us plays. He got it and I thank him for it. Oh how I wish other people would.

A lot of the film reminded me of Lord of the Rings actually. I don't know if they ever met but I think Tolkein and Lewis would have made great friends. Can you imagine their conversations?

When you see the movie let me know. I'd love to have a conversation about the imagery, the symbolism, the battle, the questions etc. and get your take on it. Until then armor up. There's a battle out there and you'll need it.

I started a running program this morning. Hopefully it will be more than a phase. I have a goal though so maybe that will help. I want to be able to run 3 continuous miles without needing an oxygen tank. I put it out there so now I actually have to do it.

The first week is one of those run then walk combinations. I gotta tell ya, that 60 second walk was the shortest minute ever while the run portion seemed to last forever. I should sleep well tonight. I got home and checked the running schedule to see how long this breakdown lasts and I realized that I was supposed to walk for 90 seconds and not 60. Thank God I get to extend the walk portion just a bit longer. Those extra 30 seconds had better last.

Part way through the combination this morning I walked/ran by these 3 teenage boys. Modern day T-Birds is what I labeled them. The 3 were walking together and got to the point in their journey where departing was inevitable. They did their own combination near the corner. There was this hand slapping, shoe touching, shoulder crashing ritual that took place in front of me. See, modern day T-Birds. Minus the leather jacket. It is spring after all.

According to C.S. Lewis, "we are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

I think sometimes we think the best must equal a state of being pain free, and/or happiness (in the worldly/circumstances sense) etc. And when life doesn't look or feel like that we naturally think God must be holding out on us. Obviously this can not be his best.

But sometimes the best is painful. Sometimes the best is a process. Sometimes the process is painful. But it's still the best.

Boy is that hard to believe/remember on a daily 'in the midst of' basis.